TRY THIS SIMPLE, POWERFUL EXERCISE

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I remember reading this once and thinking, “Wow, I’d better surround myself with some pretty exceptional people then, because being average has never really been something that I’ve aspired to be.”

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I remember clearly one time when I was stuck in an airport due to a delayed flight. I felt tired not just because it was late and I’d exhausted myself in the days before I was really searching for more stimulation, more inspiration, a steeper learning curve, positive energy. I took out a scrap piece of paper and scribbled my responses to these questions:

• Who do I know who brings me growth and positive energy?

• What is it about them / the relationship that makes it so rewarding?

• Who am I when I’m with that person?

To be clear, the people I wrote down were not necessarily all outgoing, optimistic people, as might be assumed by saying “positive energy.” They were diverse in every way imaginable (ethnicity, age, gender, career background, etc). It’s just that they had awakened something in me, helped me to see things from a fresh perspective, and had pushed and challenged my thinking. I had walked away from interactions with them feeling connected and hopeful for a bright future.

For the list I made that night, only one was an existing friend. Others were acquaintances, people I’d met and interacted with just a few times. Two lived on different continents. I promised myself I’d reach out to each one of them to find a way to get together. Looking back, years later on what’s come of it, I see the true power of this exercise.

One of those people, a visionary leader, famous for their accomplishments, is now a mentor of mine, and we’ve collaborated on projects. Another woman, so successful in her industry and yet so authentic and down to earth, I am now proud and happy to call a close, dear friend. We vacation together, we hang out, we share dreams and challenges.

And another one from the list, was a person who I now call my husband! Yes – I’m married to a man after once scribbling his name down on a scrap piece of paper as someone who brought me positive energy who I thought it could be good to spend a bit more time with.

Here, I invite you to follow these three simple steps:

1. Respond to the three questions above. Note question 1 is about who brings you growth and positive energy, not about who makes you feel comfortable. Check any tendency to surround yourself with people like you (affinity bias).

2. Take action by reaching out to three to five of the people you write down and finding a way to get together with them.

3. Observe how your outlook starts to shift. Observe how your environment starts to look different. Observe how you grow.

Try it and let me know how it goes!